I'd just like to state up front that I am not now, nor have I ever been Communist, Democrat, or Republican. Nor am I in any way affiliated with the Tea Party or Occupy Movement(s). I happen to think they're all garbage and equally useless.
I FIRMLY believe in a separation between church and state and believe that we should actually do MORE to separate them(too much judeo-christian morality has squirmed its way into law like a maggot in a corpse). I also believe that persecution complex the Christians in the USA have needs to be massively toned down. They were not the only ones attacked during 9-11 but they did more than their fair share of persecuting any non-christians in the weeks, months, and years afterwords (it's still going on).
Marriage, in the true Western Tradition(Saxon/Germanic/Norse) did not start as a religious thing. It was a legal contract, between two consenting adults designed to prevent wars over inheritance. Marriage had NOTHING to do with love or religion. It ended up becoming a religious thing when Christianity cast its dark shadow over Western and Northern Europe because that was the closest thing anyone at that point in time had to a stable government. If you married Brunhilda under King Sven, then King Orgrim took over your village, if your marriage was secular, your marriage's validity could be called into question.
Times have since changed. The US Government is far more stable than their predecessors 1000 years ago(though the sanity of the US government or those who think it actually works is debatable). There is no longer a dominant branch of Christianity in the west. Marriage though, has always remained a legal contract(even as a religious thing, in many areas you still had to have legal consent). In addition, there are a number of religions that are either not organized, or don't view marriage as part of their domain. There are also Atheists.
Marriage itself has changed over the last 1000 years as well. It has gone from a means of preventing civil war and feuds to a statement in which two individuals declare to the world that they love each other enough to put up with one another for the rest of their medically enhanced lifespans. Insurance companies, banks, and even the federal government recognize the institution of marriage and provide benefits, or treat married individuals differently from those that are not.
Because of this, I firmly believe that NOT allowing homosexual adults to marry one another, regardless of the gender of the spouse, is unconstitutional. There are only 2 real courses of action. The first, which I'd consider a mistake, is to regard marriage as a religious rite solely and have the government get out of the marriage business entirely(thus not having separate filing statuses for taxes, which in many cases will mean less money for the government). This will have the added benefit of getting rid of divorce attorneys.
The second option requires the government to stop pandering to the Christians. They need to legalize gay marriage. Yes, this means that Churches are going to have to recognize gay marriages if they want to keep their tax-exempt status, but it's high time we abolish letting churches have tax exempt status too.